WHEN LIFE THROWS YOU OFF YOUR HORSE: THE CONVERSION OF ST. PAUL

“The conversion of St. Paul was a turning point in the history of the early Church.” This powerful statement, offered in the Living with Christ missalette, highlights the commentary for the feast we celebrate today. St. Paul continues to be held in highest regard. With steadfast commitment, he faithfully carried out his mission.

It seems that he did not waste much time in his life. His words and actions served as a testimony to his deeply held beliefs. The man who once preached fire and brimstone against the followers of The Way allowed all his passion and energy to be transformed. With the grace of God, he allowed himself to be made anew.

If we apply the ancient wisdom of “walking a mile in his shoes,” it might be quite easy for us to find similarities between St. Paul’s life and our own life experience. While our personal lives may not seem as dramatic as his was, many of us have experienced the pain of being knocked off our own “horse” and being completely unable to see our way forward. The advent of conversion experiences are both universal anduniquely personal: the ending of a treasured relationship, the death of a loved one, the onset of an illness, the loss of a job, or a deep transformation of our sense of vocation.

If we take a moment to recall the experience, we might remember the feeling of hitting the ground and having the wind knocked out of us. We might have needed help to get back on our feet. It probably took a while before our sight returned and we could move forward with any confidence. We might, right now, be in the middle of one of those experiences.

Whatever the circumstances of our lives, God has something to say. We just need to stop and listen. We will probably benefit from the presence of a wise guide. While no one has ever walked a mile in our exact shoes, times of darkness and doubt are not new to the human journey. It will be important to find sources of wisdom to guide us and to help us find our way forward.

We might not immediately like the source of wisdom to whom God directs us. More than once, God’s gracious and wise Spirit has nudged me forward, and delight was not my first response. Saying that “yes”is not always easy.

Recall that Ananias needed to hear a word from God before he agreed to partner with Saul on his healing journey. It would have been a challenge for anyone to become willing to associate with Saul. He had been so public in condemning and persecuting anyone following Jesus, the Christ.

No one could have imagined that Saul would become Paul, and that he would go on to contribute over nine percent of the written scripture of the Christian faith tradition. His transformation was so complete that he became a new person, complete with a new name. His writings became worthy of being included in the timeless wisdom of our sacred scripture. Through these words, we receive instruction, gain insight, grow in wisdom and understanding, and open ourselves to every grace and blessing.

The grace that comes to us was born of the same grace that came to these two men. They listened to the voice of God. They did not turn away. While Paul regained his physical sight, he also learned to see in new ways. The same for Ananias. He allowed himself to see new life and new possibilities. His voice carried weight in the community, providing Paul an entry-way into his new ministry.

All this is profoundly serious and worthy of care-full pondering. And yet, I always smile when I read the instructions given to Ananias: “Get up and go to the street called Straight.” It is a simple message and a light-hearted image: just go straight.

Brenda Merk Hildebrand has a deep passion for lifelong learning, education, and spiritual and palliative care. She appreciates the opportunities that have come her way to share life’s transforming journey with others: one-with-one, through intentional group settings, in animating workshops and retreats, and by way of her writing. Brenda is a long-time contributor to Living with Christ.