CELEBRATING LOVE

I think it is no shocker to anyone that there is too much hate in this world. We are inundated with stories of harm and oppression that is perpetrated and often tolerated with complicit silence. It is as true now as it has ever been, “what the world needs now is love, sweet love (Jackie DeShannon, 1965).” How wonderful it is that we have at least one day in the yearly calendar that is dedicated to love – St. Valentine’s Day, February 14.

It is clear to us that St. Valentine’s Day has emerged in our society as a day to celebrate romantic love. People give flowers, plan special dinners or look to an evening out with their beloveds. All this is no surprise as the day honours the 3rd century Bishop and Martyr St. Valentine who was committed to performing marriages for people in a time when the Roman Emperor Claudius II had forbidden marriages for soldiers. In a sense, St. Valentine’s commitment to love was a resistance against the political power of his age. It was a simple act – performing marriages. It was a simple reason – love.

As we enter celebrations of this romantic form of love, it is also an opportunity to reflect on a broader sense of love as found in our Catholic tradition. Doing this shows us that love is a powerful form of resistance in the face of attitudinal, structural and societal expressions of hatred and intolerance. Jesus spoke the truth of love and justice to those in power. Saints throughout history (including St. Valentine), because of their love for Christ and the people of God, were martyred as they resisted the domination of hatred.

So, I offer the cliché that love can, has and will always overcome hatred. I consider, though, what we mean in our faith tradition when we speak of love. Yes, there is romantic love (eros) that brings couples together. There is also familial love (philos), the love between siblings, friends and our other social connections. Our faith tradition also teaches us that there is unconditional love (agape) that is broad and deep. It is an abiding love for all humanity and creation that is unearned and rooted in our common lineage as children of God who live in a world created out of love for us.

Scripture offers us insight and wisdom regarding love. St. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians that love is patient. This patience is girded by our deep trust that our beloved(s) ultimately grow and flourish in God’s time and in the shadow of God’s hand. We can do away with our need to control and manipulate. Paul also tells us that love is kind. This kindness is about respect. It is more than merely being nice. To be nice is to just go along and not offer correction. To love another is to see them for who they are capable of being, and when they fall short of that, to offer respectful guidance. It also means accepting such guidance from those who, out of love for us, call us to be our best selves. St. Paul also tells us that love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. Each of these emerge from our conceited pride. We are not better than anyone else. Each person is our equal, and we are all companioning each other on this journey. For this reason, love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable; it keeps no record of wrongs. As a form of resistance to hatred, love does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. Love is about faith, trust, hope and endurance.

To endure in love is to believe that love is present and possible even though times and situations may be tough and keep love hidden temporarily. This endurance in no way means remaining in relationships that are abusive and diminish our dignity as children of God. Such relationships result in fear, not the comfort of building up. Scripture is clear that perfect love drives out all fear (1 John 4:18). In abusive relationships, the most loving thing we can do for self and the other is to walk away.

So, let us celebrate love in all its forms. Let us place ourselves in the presence of our loving God and let that model of perfect love drive out any fear, arrogance, doubt and manipulation that keeps us from being our best selves in service of one another and the world.

We pray:

God of unconditional love,
guide my entire being,
and all my thoughts and actions
so that the love I show on this earth
mirrors the perfect love
you have for us and all of creation.

Fill my heart with agape,
that those I hold dear
may see in my expressions of love
a reflection of your unwavering love for all.

Let mercy, not harsh judgment
reign in my relationships.
May self-righteous pride
and egotistical narrowness
be driven out
by a love that offers self for the betterment of the beloved.

Just as your beloved Son
offered himself
out of love,
for love,
and for his beloveds.

We ask this,
out of love,
for the building of your reign of love on earth.
Amen.

Michael Way Skinner is a retired Coordinator of Religion, Family Life and Equity
with the York Catholic District School Board. He was a contributing author to World
Religions: A Canadian Catholic Perspective, and co-authored There Must be a Pony in Here Somewhere (Novalis, 2020) with his wife, Christine Way Skinner. Michael is a public speaker and award-winning educator who is deeply committed to faith as a source for inclusion and justice.