FAMILY DAY
February is upon us and for people in many provinces in Canada it’s Family Day! Having a holiday in February is relatively new compared to many of our traditional holidays. More recently, in 2016, Pope Francis had Amoris Laetitia published as the Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation on The Joy of Love. It seems fitting to explore a bit about love and joy in families in time for this holiday.
In preparation for this writing, I asked one of my adult children what Family Day meant to him and when he responded, I asked others the same question. One question that came up in the responses is “Do we need a holiday to celebrate family?” I think I would answer with both “yes” and “no.” Yes – because living in a family can be challenging and it’s good to acknowledge the hard work of being family, maintaining and building healthy relationships. Answering “no” might remind us that every day is family day when you are raising children, when gramma comes to live with you, when someone starts or finishes school.
Does having a day marked by the government, make family more important, special or valuable? Maybe if we take the time to acknowledge how the government appreciates family it could make the hard times a little easier and parents could feel as though they have an ally within those in positions of authority. Baby “bonuses,” day care services, tax considerations – these are things governments do to support families. These don’t just happen once a year.
My son, who is a first time father at age 40+ mentioned how “unbusy one was before having children, but never knew it…” and also he acknowledged that even if there is a family day, there is never a holiday for parents. Even for family day, stressed parents may have more physical, emotional or financial stress trying to celebrate, visit extended family or take a special trip.
But in spite of the skepticism, I like that there is a holiday in February – that short but cold and lonely month. Where I live it is Family Day, so we try to do something with our family.
Who is your family? Is it your spouse, your children? If one includes parents and siblings then that first family, too, can become part of the celebration and acknowledgment on Family Day.
What about the honourary aunts and uncles, special friends of the family? For me there was Aunt Betty, Aunt Jean and Uncle Bill who were not blood relations but visited regularly. Bill had nephews from his brother’s family, but he was also part of our family. It was a joy to listen to the laughter as they told stories of days gone by. Family is whomever belongs, who is loved and welcomed, be it blood relations or not.
Many of my memories about family gatherings when I was young, were about singing together and music making – not just at Christmas. Summer parties would always end with harmonies ringing around the circle of aunts and uncles. These were traditions that were prompted not by a specific day, but when someone was visiting from out of town or a special birthday or anniversary.
The Joy of Love includes many different aspects of life, love and family – the important responsibilities as well as the benefits of family. The Christian family exhibits love but also shows mercy and forgiveness. When people in the family act like sin-ful humans and cause hurt for others and make mistakes, we may learn how to forgive within the family, letting go of the pain that may be caused. When life circumstances make for challenging times of pain and suffering, family can be the balm providing comfort and support. These stressful times do not take holidays, but neither do the joyful times limit themselves to one day per year.
So, we can carry on, make our way through being the “small, domestic church,” celebrating when we can, and being part of the larger local and global family in whatever way we can, today and every day.
Pope Francis’ Prayer to the Holy Family (from Amoris Laetitia)
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
in you we contemplate the splendour of true love;
to you we turn with trust.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
grant that our families too may be places of communion and prayer,
authentic schools of the Gospel and
small domestic churches.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
may families never again experience violence, rejection and division;
may all who have been hurt or scandalized find ready comfort and healing.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
make us once more mindful of the sacredness and inviolability of the family,
and its beauty in God’s plan.
Amen.
Jeanne Lambert combines her experiences as a parish and community nurse and her music ministry, and she continues to find ways to include music in pastoral care and community hospice work. Jeanne has many diverse writings and presentations to her credit on family life, grief, wholistic health care and spiritual reflection.
